In the course of our lives, we all owe something to someone. There are always some positive influences that enhance our state of being. This may make us wholeheartedly thankful. It also may make us feel that we are carrying 'the burden of gratitude.'
It's easy to misjudge others. Since no one truly knows the hidden nature of another person, it pays to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Still, we all know the feeling of being maneuvered into something, and few of us enjoy the experience. Unfortunately, sometimes a giver of gifts has an agenda beyond making the recipient of their kindness happy.
Gratitude is a positive emotion unless experience has taught us that there's be a catch. It's also possible that, if we don't like the giver, we will resent being put into the position of having to say 'Thank you.' Sometimes we can be of two minds about it, liking what we are given but feeling that we're somehow compromised if we accept.
Refusing a favor or gift may not be so easy. Children are especially vulnerable because they are dependent. If a parent gives - as parents are expected to do - but expects extravagant gratefulness, greater obedience, or some other behavior modification in return, it strains the relationship. Children are sensitive to what they see as injustice or manipulation.
If a parent - who has a natural obligation to provide certain things - demands more than a natural response, the child may suffer. "I work my fingers to the bone for you", a mother may moan. "You should be glad to spend every week-end at home helping out. Your friends don't care for you like I do!" In this case, the child is asked to sacrifice free time to pay a debt they shouldn't owe. They probably don't ask for servile devotion and would gladly settle for less in exchange for freedom.
A coworker may have a right to expect equal favors in return for favors done. However, if these expectations mean that they hold a grievance if they don't get 'paid back', they are expecting more than gratitude. Their bad manners or poor judgement don't automatically let you off the hook, but you may want to be cautious about receiving favors in future. If their expectations include wanting you to cover for improper behavior on their part, things are even harder to handle.
In cases like this, we may not even feel grateful. However, the real question is how to deal with a situation. We can control our own reactions if we are mature, free, and able to reason things out. The debt may spur us to actions that benefit the other party. As long as we can do this honestly, this is a good thing. Many people take such an obligation as an incentive to visit more often, remember to give credit where credit is due, to pray for others, or to 'pay it forward'.
Of course, being in the wrong (however slightly) doesn't mean you feel any better about the situation. You may have to put up with the imposition of gratitude, if the relationship is important to you or your job depends on it. Otherwise, you might be able to change the dynamics (change jobs or move out of state) to make sure you won't have to endure this again.
It's easy to misjudge others. Since no one truly knows the hidden nature of another person, it pays to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Still, we all know the feeling of being maneuvered into something, and few of us enjoy the experience. Unfortunately, sometimes a giver of gifts has an agenda beyond making the recipient of their kindness happy.
Gratitude is a positive emotion unless experience has taught us that there's be a catch. It's also possible that, if we don't like the giver, we will resent being put into the position of having to say 'Thank you.' Sometimes we can be of two minds about it, liking what we are given but feeling that we're somehow compromised if we accept.
Refusing a favor or gift may not be so easy. Children are especially vulnerable because they are dependent. If a parent gives - as parents are expected to do - but expects extravagant gratefulness, greater obedience, or some other behavior modification in return, it strains the relationship. Children are sensitive to what they see as injustice or manipulation.
If a parent - who has a natural obligation to provide certain things - demands more than a natural response, the child may suffer. "I work my fingers to the bone for you", a mother may moan. "You should be glad to spend every week-end at home helping out. Your friends don't care for you like I do!" In this case, the child is asked to sacrifice free time to pay a debt they shouldn't owe. They probably don't ask for servile devotion and would gladly settle for less in exchange for freedom.
A coworker may have a right to expect equal favors in return for favors done. However, if these expectations mean that they hold a grievance if they don't get 'paid back', they are expecting more than gratitude. Their bad manners or poor judgement don't automatically let you off the hook, but you may want to be cautious about receiving favors in future. If their expectations include wanting you to cover for improper behavior on their part, things are even harder to handle.
In cases like this, we may not even feel grateful. However, the real question is how to deal with a situation. We can control our own reactions if we are mature, free, and able to reason things out. The debt may spur us to actions that benefit the other party. As long as we can do this honestly, this is a good thing. Many people take such an obligation as an incentive to visit more often, remember to give credit where credit is due, to pray for others, or to 'pay it forward'.
Of course, being in the wrong (however slightly) doesn't mean you feel any better about the situation. You may have to put up with the imposition of gratitude, if the relationship is important to you or your job depends on it. Otherwise, you might be able to change the dynamics (change jobs or move out of state) to make sure you won't have to endure this again.
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