It can be all too easy for well-meaning individuals to be manipulated into relationships that they did not want or simply did not intend. When a person seems to go out of their way to help another, sometimes their intentions are not exactly generous. They may simply be wanting to draw that person into an entanglement by manipulating them with the burden of gratitude.
Dating is a particularly harmful method some men use to obligate young women into sex acts or a relationship they do not want. In the majority of instances, the man asks the woman out, and the man generally is the one who pays for the date. Some men will use this fact as a way to make the girl feel she owes him for the cost of dinners, movies, or trips.
Many women have taken to the habit of going Dutch, and paying for their own meals when they first begin getting to know someone. This is excellent advice, even if it leaves some young girls unable to afford dating. Better to avoid indebtedness than to allow themselves to be manipulated into undesired acts as payment for a free meal.
Churches may use this same tactic to draw in new members. When a church gives food, clothing, shelter, or money to homeless people, there should be no requirement for that person to attend services. However, such services are held out as a requirement for anyone who pursued help in this way, and this is a perfectly legal thing for them to do.
Parents who use free housing or child care as leverage over their adult children are guilty of the same thing. It is not legal for them to require grown children to adhere to curfews, but they will do exactly that in order to keep control of where there children go or who they see in their spare time. These restrictions are manipulative, and no parent should try to force rules on adults in order to control them.
Many people who offer help to others do so with negative motives. The people who are most ready to help us are not always those who want to see us succeed. Some people will even offer help just to get an inside peek into our lives so they can spread negative gossip.
As well-meaning people, we must evaluate our own intentions when we offer to assist others in some way. Sometimes our own reasons for helping someone has motives that we have not evaluated fully, and we might be acting in a manner that is not entirely giving. It is up to each of us to ensure that, when we offer help to a friend, we are not offering such help for the sole purpose of benefiting ourselves.
We all need help at some point in life, but the sad fact remains that others will take advantage of us at such a time. Perhaps we should seek help from a stranger rather than a friend. Family, friends, coworkers, and especially exes just might not have what is best for us in mind when they extend their assistance.
Dating is a particularly harmful method some men use to obligate young women into sex acts or a relationship they do not want. In the majority of instances, the man asks the woman out, and the man generally is the one who pays for the date. Some men will use this fact as a way to make the girl feel she owes him for the cost of dinners, movies, or trips.
Many women have taken to the habit of going Dutch, and paying for their own meals when they first begin getting to know someone. This is excellent advice, even if it leaves some young girls unable to afford dating. Better to avoid indebtedness than to allow themselves to be manipulated into undesired acts as payment for a free meal.
Churches may use this same tactic to draw in new members. When a church gives food, clothing, shelter, or money to homeless people, there should be no requirement for that person to attend services. However, such services are held out as a requirement for anyone who pursued help in this way, and this is a perfectly legal thing for them to do.
Parents who use free housing or child care as leverage over their adult children are guilty of the same thing. It is not legal for them to require grown children to adhere to curfews, but they will do exactly that in order to keep control of where there children go or who they see in their spare time. These restrictions are manipulative, and no parent should try to force rules on adults in order to control them.
Many people who offer help to others do so with negative motives. The people who are most ready to help us are not always those who want to see us succeed. Some people will even offer help just to get an inside peek into our lives so they can spread negative gossip.
As well-meaning people, we must evaluate our own intentions when we offer to assist others in some way. Sometimes our own reasons for helping someone has motives that we have not evaluated fully, and we might be acting in a manner that is not entirely giving. It is up to each of us to ensure that, when we offer help to a friend, we are not offering such help for the sole purpose of benefiting ourselves.
We all need help at some point in life, but the sad fact remains that others will take advantage of us at such a time. Perhaps we should seek help from a stranger rather than a friend. Family, friends, coworkers, and especially exes just might not have what is best for us in mind when they extend their assistance.
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